Legal,cheap and high.
I was promised dancing vivid colours and silly laughing.
What was not conveyed was the enhanced fear and paranoia that comes with a single question asked to self.
I was told this was an amplifier.
PURE mushroom, no drugs no chemicals. It amplified ur joy and senses.. No alcohol allowed with it but any drink while u chew this lil sourish funghi was fine.
The music pounding in e streets of the gay pride festival seemed to be playing only for me~ after an hr, i was ready to call it a night thinking e mushroom had run it's course. Back thinking straight and the colours seemed back to normal.
As i was living alone outside of the city centre, i swore i was fine and bid my new friend farewell.
He sent me to e metro and we parted.
Once i got to the platform, i asked myself a tiny question, "was this my metro number or was it the next one?"
That was when all hell broke loose.
The wave of paranoia came on so strong, i started shaking and wondered "is this the train? What happens if its not? Will i die? Will i get lost? I have no one here! No one will help me?" and i knew i needed help.
I asked a friendly looking couple next to me if they could help me get to my hotel, guess they didnt notice wat state i was in. They gave me verbal directions and told me to get on the next train.
I saw the train and went back to 'happy mood' jumped on and waved happily goodbye.
After 2 seconds paranoia came over me again. This time i knew something was wrong. I was shaking outta fear of being "alone". looking at e train stations, i was at least 6stops away and realised i wouldnt be able to make it and called my friend who was in Amsterdam but the phone didnt get thru.
I knew i had to think happy thoughts so i took my ipod out and listened to my kpop songs but as much as i tried to sing along, the dread overcame me. The people on the train stared and started moving away from me. I was going to faint.
That was what i was.. One of those scary crazy ppl on a train shaking and talking to themselves. It started feeling so hot and i got super thirsty, looked around for a bottle of water and saw a man holding a half finished iced tea. It took all my strength to resist the urge to grab it from his hands and drink it.
I knew then, i needed help again, i approached a middle aged couple who were obviously tourists and asked if they speak english, with a quick wave of hand and head, they gave a negative and i accepted and went back to my music.
After a while i was gonna faint from panic. What if i died alone in amsterdam. What if i faint and got robbed. What if i got lost. What if what if.
I started crying and shaking even more and approached another grp of 4.
This time i was really desperate. I heard myself speaking in a perfect sentence "i really need help. I took some mushrooms and i really need help." Whipped out my hotel room card and gave it to them,begged them to send me safely to the hotel. They asked for e station and i was still able to point it out while shuffling and bending my feet.
I think the fact that it was the Hamptons assured them i wasnt some young druggie they shud leave alone. Thank god, thank heavens, they agreed to send me back. A more motherly woman held on to me which had a very powerful effect over me. I was better and could take the phone out and call the mum is SG. Told her i was outta my mind and i was with a grp of Austrians who were bringing me back to my hotel.
Hearing the mum's voice helped so much. I was more in control of the mind again. Paranoia left but the thirst and heat stayed.
The kind souls left me at e door of the hotel and i went up to e reception and demanded two bottles of water.
They all knew something was wrong with me and watched me with guarded eyes as i settled down at the lobby.
I knew it wasnt safe for me to go up to the room alone. God knows if i would die alone.
I starting speaking to two gothic lesbians and asked if they werw here for Pride the prettier on talked to me and i begged her to sit and talk to me while i calm down.
Told them bout e mushrooms and NEVER to try it.
It took me an hour in the lobby to trust myself to be alone in e room.
The fear still built up and down but wasnt as bad because of then controlled environment. Called up a friend and texted others to feel more like myself.
Put on a comedy and felt the laughter bubble up.
It was 3 am when i fell aslp. Waking at 6am, i could still feel some remnants of paranoia but decided i will have to fight it as the trip was only supposed to last 6-8hrs.
Made my way to e airport to pick the sister up only to find that the trains weren't working. A tiny fear did build but i met another dutch w luggage,we decided to share a cab (50euros) to e airport and she talked to me thruout the trip. By e end of it, Angelyn was finally back. 12 hrs after chewing e bloody shrooms.
Never again.
What a disgusting way to learn a lesson.
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