slept from 8pm yesterday til 12 noon..
woots!
16 hours...

i have so much to burst aloud
but..
i've learnt my lesson..
so,i wun haha!
so much heh heh!
why?!
it's so idiot pls!
it was forgotten..
well,almost totally forgotten..
now this..again..
crap..
shit crap haha!!
but it feels good anyway..
going watch 'the wild' movie tml wid woman..sakae sushi!!!! =)
then sun go blading..
next fri go k-boxing (vesak!)
next sat go bernard's hse..not confirmed tho..
some snooping to do..
heh heh!!
here's a pic of my chengjun ge and his stubble in 'sad love story'
*sigh..so romantic and manly..
wen he kiss her forehead his stubble on her nose..
wahhhhhhhh
ooooooooooooooooooh!!!!
*melts*

flipped thru my old albums
ooooooh..
memories hell!
shall put up lots and lots of pics today Yay!
some weird..TOTALLY wierd stages of my life haha!!
may it be the thousands of soft toys i use to have
or the weird drunk pic of me n nessa in uniform..
or the party hats thingy for me b'day
or me on crutches wen i broke my leg..
or me in a TUBE wen i was a baby..*LOL!
ppl,get ready...
yes tang wee,all the double chins tt u've been counting,u'll have a lot here..LOL!!

i'm home!!
finally home..
haha..just one day away but i still miss my room..
wen i moved out,i tot tt i would never be able to call another place home anymore
but then..this place,this HDB room of mine has turned into 'home' for me..
tho i am aware tt i'm losing touch wid my family members like grandma and mum..
just not as close..
anyway,wanted to speak to sheral but..just didn't noe wat to say..
so we just did the usual..play,watch tv,sleep,eat..
i decorate my new notebook,she put make-up for poor adelynn..
both turned out looking like monkeys..
it's kinda taboo now to tok bout 'it' i guess..
except for the occasionally outburst by Don now and then about it..
i miss skool?? [tt's a first..*lol]

home..
tang's wid me..last min decision to stay over at my place..
she see leehom til happy like hell pls..
told her,wid me,she will have more idols to go mad over..
he was cute..
*LOL
bryan wong,star idol guy went up stage for the handshake session too..
whoa..he is quite cute after all..his dimples at least..
tt's bout it..
the details mostly in tang's blog..
so here are just a couple of pics la..

the mood was gone..
had bio lecture from 11-12,i didn't listen to my i-pod for once..
BUT i listened to tang's MP3..
watever..anyway..
walked about,ate,slacked in the library til it was time for Mr Ivan's elective..
he may be a nice guy and all but leadership was boring...
boring..
boring..
me n marie were drawing our names..
trying to cool down huh?
Ben's the class rep..i wanted marie to be assistant..
too bad..next time,ben..
but all hail ivan loh,he ended class at 3pm..
elective was oni one hour..did we not choose the right course or wat?

...
went on to marina wid them for swensens..
just as the food was put down infront of me,my mum called,asking wat time i'll be back..
i told her and hung up..
straight away another call came,DON
i tot,ya..he's probably gonna ask went i'm goin over like every usual week..

...
i hear her cry silently and i started too..
i couldn't speak,she couldn't speak..
but i noe she was still on the phone..
we were just silent for so long while i cried..
i could hear her mewling at the other end..
cried and trembled even more..
after i could finally get my voice i said:"i tok u later.."
*bam*
i just couldn't stop trembling..
why the fuck?! why so stupid?!


...
i rmb in secondary skool i looked at some of my classmatez and swore tt i wun let sheral become a bimbo..
but i failed..so i tot,bimbo nvm,as long as dun smoke and steal..
now..i dun even noe wat to do..

...
i do feel bad tt week after week she calls me..
her:"Jie........ this week u coming over? wanna go blading?"
i:"dun think so..next week?"
her:"huh?? everytime oso say next week.. u confirm?? promise ah! next week ok! i tell papa,u cannot dun come ah!"
so..the supposedly tasty food turned totally tasteless..
i swallowed the food all the same..
it was silence for a weird period of time as the rest probably didn't now how to react..
i'm sorry,but we were back on track weren't we?
thx to them,i forgot bout tt matter for a while tho i know it was in my mind somewhere..
sure our family children have always been playful..
throwing chalk at teacher,playing truant,copying in exams..etc..
but nothing against the freakin law..
stupid girl..stupid girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
but,thank god elective ending early or i may have just cried there..
thank god,we went out or i'll be just crying my eyes out at home..
just thank god for the little things tt helped me..
bless tt stupid loved sister of mine and let her see her wrongs please..

skool started at 12..
again the question went across me:"did u study yesterday?"
and the ans went past me AGAIN:"ya..a little","I did!"
like.................omg pls..
**
were tokin bout sex,oral sex,gays etc wen bhinisa came to sit next to me..
(all the bio on penises and vaginas does tt to us u see...)
i told them bout -C-&-K-..
how sweet they were..but obviously not everyone agreed..
i mean,come on ppl..open up a little..
they're normal ppl..not some two-headed beings..
why feel so repulsed just becoz u're unlike them?
mabbe coz i practically grew up in an all gal's skool..
lesbians...bungs...wat's new?!
same wid gays..
-sigh-
watever..some comments on thier blogs are so hurting..
stupid ppl..so unfeeling!
*****
anyway..i "stole" something..
*LOL funny shit..
i can't believe it..wahaha..
well,it doesn't ACTUALLY count as stealing..but..
it's funny..made my day..
i wanted it so badly..heex!
since it belonged to no one..(mabbe the trees)
i took it..haha..
***
lab was amazing..
roger is realli good..he's like the best lecturer i noe..
the one tt can realli teach! everyone agrees
i'm NOT gonna get into shit for tokin bout lecturers again..
so oni PLEASANT comments ya?

i noe i blogged ready
but i'm blogging again..
went to lotsa gay blogs..
felt so much for them..
it was sweet..stella n ziyi say sick..
but wen u read it,u can actually feel how deeply they love each other..
it's sweet..they're just like normal guy-gal relationaship..
mabbe SWEETER..more honest wid each other..
*sigh......
was intending to slp like an hour ago..switched off me com ready..
laid in bed for like 10 mins and felt like crying..
Nessa,u noe..the same thing as wen u were online..
i hate this..so i switched on the PC and transfered a pic to my phone..
just a small part revealed..tt's enuf to keep me going..
i popped a flu tablet to make me slp well..
hopefully..

school ended like..12 today but we,the HARDWORKING ppl,stayed back for project
didn't do much of a project tho..
but we made an effort!
changed my template..
this one looks more subtle..[is this even the rite word??]
anyway..ya,the last one was more happy i guess..
i am the least bit of happy..
well..these 2 weeks at least..
----
hopefully after seeing him on sat i'll feel betta..leehom i mean..
yay! and mon oso no skool..
which means can see him off..WOOTS
i rmb..seeing him a couple of times..
as talented as he is,he ain't much of a character..
at least wen his manager's around..
i was undoubtedly pissed wen he asked his manager if he could sign my album..
i mean..he's amazingly talented and old enuf and is an ABC..
can't he decide tt for himself?
but tt was a couple of yrs back..2? 3?
so mabbe he is changed..lol
but it doesn't change the fact tt he is madly talented!!!
loving his songs day by day!!
-----
everyone is stressing out..
i can feel the pressure!
like it's week 2!!!
marie! shiqa! goli!
STOP studying!!!
every morning during lecture i hear the question:"did u study ytd?"
the ans comes flying across me:"ya..abit but not much.."
and i go into a daze..
while they all listen and take notes..
i have my i-pod earphones stuck in my ear..
----
BUT today..i had a book..
thx shiqa,for bringing it today..
i LOVE the book..it's called [Double Take] by Brenda Joyce
about twins..amazing..
it made me tear at the ending..
sigh..love love love..
the oods against it..
mabbe it's been too long since i last a book..a month or so?
-----
ATM??haha..

school ended real early today.

did not have a good day due to no-sleep last nite..

then again..since wen was i able to sleep well on sunday nites?

stress is kicking in so badly..

thx to marie!!

stress stress stress..now make me oso stress..

***

doing a couple more personality tests..

here's a summary of a new one..

***

i am a ESFJ.. -Extraverted Sensing Feeling Judging-personality

1. Guardians of birthdays, holidays and celebrations, ESFJs are generous entertainers. They enjoy and joyfully observe traditions and are liberal in giving, especially where custom prescribes.
2. ESFJs enjoy being in charge. They see problems clearly and delegate easily, work hard and play with zest. They willingly provide service and expect the same from others.
3. ESFJs are easily wounded. And when wounded, their emotions will not be contained. They by nature "wear their hearts on their sleeves.Frequently boiling over the vexation of thier souls.
4. Strong, contradictory forces consume the ESFJ. Their sense of right and wrong wrestles with an overwhelming rescuing, 'mothering' drive.
5. As caretakers, ESFJs sense danger all around.Not that the ESFJ is paranoid; 'hyper-vigilant' would be more precise. And thus they serve excellently as protectors, outstanding in fields such as medical care and elementary education.

Funtional Analyst

ESFJs have the ability to express warmth, rage, and a range of other emotions. Actions are encouraged or rebuked based on how they affect other people, especially people near and dear to the ESFJ.

according to the test,my PAL is nessa! lol..

how freaky iz tt??

-beware ppl..

************

ESFP - "Entertainer". Radiates attractive warmth and optimism. Smooth, witty, charming, clever. Fun to be with. Very generous. 8.5% of the total population.

Take Free Jung Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

here are some words i GOPE from the newpaper..

for me,i'm able to connect soo much with these words,thus i'm putting it up here..

go thru it if u want..u might have some relevations just like me..

WHAT makes a man strong:

1. The strength of a man isn't in the width of his shoulders,but in the width of his arms that circle you..
2. The strength of a man isn't in the deepness of his voice,but in the gentle words he whispers..
3. The strength of a man isn't how many buddies he has,but how good a buddy he is with his kids..
4. The strength of a man isn't how respected he is at work,but how respecte he is at home..
5. The strength of a man isn't how hard he hits,but how tender he touches..
6. The strength of a man isn't the hair on his chest,but in his heart that lies in his chest..
7. The strength og a man isn't how many women he has loved,but how well he loves ONE woman..
8. The strength of a man isn't in the weight he can lift,but in the burdens he can carry..

LIFE is for living,live it

1. There are moments in life when u miss a person so much,you just want to pick them out of your dreams and hug them for real..
2. When the door of happiness closes,another opens..But,often,we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the new one opened for us..
3. Don't go for looks,they can decieve..
4. Don't go for wealth,it can fade away..
5. Go for someone that makes you smile because a smile can make a dark day bright
6. Dream what u wanna dream,go where u wanna go..
7. Be who u wanna be because you only have one life and one chance to do the things you want to do..
8. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past..
9. You can't go forward until you let go of your past failures and heartaches..
10. Live your life so that at the end,you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying..
11. Don't count the years,cout the memories..
12. Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take,but by the moments tt take our breath away..

-i was touched by these word..

-hope u found something within them too..

From zy's blog,which was from stella's blog..etc..

Instructions: Go to your music player of choice and put it on shuffle.

Say the following questions aloud, and press play.

Use the song title as the answer to the question.

NO CHEATING!!!

1. How does the world see me? Happy Boys And Happy Girls-Aqua *good
2. Will I have a happy life? Jia Gei Wo{Marry me}-Alex Toh *Whoohooo
3. What do my friends really think of me? True Heart-Tackey & Tsubasa *i'm sure some BEG to differ..
4. Do people secretly lust after me? Liquid Dreams-O-town *OMG..WTF?! see,tis is so inaccurate..*LOL
5. How can I make myself happy? Lang Man Hao{Romantic Stroll}-Zhang A*wei *true
6. What should I do with my life? One Love-Blue *i want tt too..
7. Will I ever have children? Hey Mama-BEP *OMG...funny hell! wahaha!!
8. What is some good advice for me? DangNiGuDanNiHuiXiangQiShui-Zhang DongLiang *hmmm,mabbe it means i SHUD think of tt person more..heh heh!
9. How will I be remembered? Fei Ai Ni Bu Ke{Have to love u}-Pan Weibo *ooohhh...yay!
10. What is my signature dancing song? As Long As U Love Me-BSB *can u imagine me dancing to tt? wahaha!
11. What do I think my current theme song is? Shut Up-BEP *bleah tt's so yester-year..
12. What does everyone else think my current theme song is? Xi Pai{Shuffle Cards}-Nicky Lee ??
13. What song will play at my funeral? Uncle Fucker-South Park *NO no no no!!!!! kill me!
14. What type of men/women do I like? Tong Hua{Fairytale}-GuangLiang *Aww..tt's true..men found only in fairytales i guess..
15. What is my day going to be like? Same Old Brand New U-a1 *Well,tt's speaks volumes huh?

controversy in school pls!
whether it's bout the grp thingy or the friendship thingy..
i wanna say we're at tertiary level..
not primary or much less,secondary school..
why do ppl wanna make things weird and difficult?!
tsk tsk tsk..pls la..

****
anyway,went to tread eyebrows wid jas n tang...
tears just rolled down..haha
rushed over to cine to meet the "whole grp"
turned out oni stella n ziyi..
watched the movie,teared a lil'..AGAIN..
ziyi was crying too!
well,to be fair,it didn't actually drop down BUT her eyes were wet.. Yay!
went to Paragon to fing crumpler bags..
den on to far east to see 77th street..
**
Ziyi bought a crumpler(u freakin rich gal!)
Stella bought a Billabong one..
then i wanted to do manicure..
so Mel met us for like 5 mins and went to eat wid ziyi,
while me n stellz did our nails!
Woohoo!!!!
me LOVE me nails!
me n stella WILL BE nail-buddies once every month..
haha!
tole her the nail-design i picked for my wedding wid him..
and she will be wid me wen i do tt for my big day..LOL!
**
on the way back..i was telling stella bout all the crap happening in poly..
it seems we agree tt these weird ppl can only be found in polys..
she herself have such weird ppl in her class..
wat to do?
-crap-

got this test from stellz blog who got it from mel's blog who got it frm someone else's blog..

***

i am.
~~the Asserter~~

-Test finished!-

you chose AY - your Enneagram type is EIGHT.

"I must be strong"

Asserters are direct, self-reliant, self-confident, and protective.

1. How to Get Along with Me:

• Stand up for yourself... and me.
• Be confident, strong, and direct.
• Don't gossip about me or betray my trust.
• Be vulnerable and share your feelings. See and acknowledge my tender, vulnerable side.
• Give me space to be alone
• Acknowledge the contributions I make, but don't flatter me.
• I often speak in an assertive way. Don't automatically assume it's a personal attack.
• When I scream, curse, and stomp around, try to remember that's just the way I am.

1. 
   What I Like About Being a Eight

• being independent and self-reliant
• being able to take charge and meet challenges head on
• being courageous, straightforward, and honest
• getting all the enjoyment I can out of life
• supporting, empowering, and protecting those close to me
• upholding just causes

1. 
   What's Hard About Being a Eight

• overwhelming people with my bluntness; scaring them away when I don't intend to
• being restless and impatient with others' incompetence
• sticking my neck out for people and receiving no appreciation for it
• never forgetting injuries or injustices
• putting too much pressure on myself
• getting high blood pressure when people don't obey the rules or when things don't go right

1. 
   Eights as Children Often

• are independent; have an inner strength and a fighting spirit
• are sometimes loners
• seize control so they won't be controlled
• figure out others' weaknesses
• attack verbally or physically when provoked
• take charge in the family because they perceive themselves as the strongest, or grow up in difficult or abusive surroundings

1. 
   Eights as Parents

• are often loyal, caring, involved, and devoted
• are sometimes overprotective
• can be demanding, controlling, and rigid

~well..i guess tt speaks for itself doesn't it? the test is quite amazing...

well..back from taking a ride wid Angel..

tired hell.....

bought some groceries back..

read ytds newpaper..

well,the moffatts are back..

at least 2/5 of them..

the identical twins,clint and bob are back as a grp called:"Same Same"

LOL..i used to think they were cute..they STILL are..

lab ended at 7 plus..

i soo understood it! tt male nurse manager is REALLY good..

teaches sooo well..

thank god for him..

****

nothing much on the other end of life..

saw it wen my mum dropped me off this afternoon..

but it disappeared round noon time..

i'm just feeling crappy..

this..all this sucks..it HAS to stop!

****

did some cool star thingy wid a pic of me and ben for my blog's entry page..

heh heh!

-LOVE-

he blogged..

see nessa? CONNECTION!!

i just had tis instinct to click on him one i switched on my PC and he blogged!!

today was a better day than ytd..why?

becoz there's no lab..

***

listening to Xiao Zhu speak english..funny shit..

sounds just like PRCs..

haha!

so i was being mad today going:"SO! u think u wear green very big la!"

:"SO! u wear skirt very big la?? i oso can lor.."

:"SO! u think got necklace then special la! i oso got lor!!"

*LOL*

irritated the hell outta most ppl..wahaha!

oh ya! Marie has fallen for WangXin..

exclaiming tt he is :"SO HOT!"

wahahahahwahahahwahaha!!!!!!!!!

oh ya,must thank him for the leehom cd too!

yunfei gave me a necklace thingy and sunjia gave me a keychain..

***

now i think of wat we saw in tutorial room..

WAHAHAHAHHA!!!!!!!!!!

so sick pls!

tml me,shiqa,weewee and marie come skool got sore-eye!

yay!!! wahaha!

how i wish i DID NOT see it!!! spoil EVERYTHING!!!!

well well well..

i'm sick..AGAIN..on the first day of school..

well,i should get used to it shouldn't i?

for the last 12 years tt i actually attended school..

it seems 80% of the time i get sick the day before school reopens..

i used to get scolding frm grandma saying tt:

''U dun wanna go to school tt's why everytime pretend to be sick..''

but..tis time i didn't get tt,for the simple reason tt we're not living together anymore..

i hate being sick..but then,who doesn't?

i just hate it even more tt i'm more prone to colds then most of the people i noe..

****

school was OK i guess..

except for the close shave wid him outside lecture hall J

thank god for my quick processing of the brain,i managed to avoid him..*LOL*

Lab was HORRIBLE..i was almost frozen to death!

so can u IMAGINE how freakin cold it was given my thick layer of body fats??

..it was DAMN cold..

***

Almira's sick wid the temp. of 39.7 degrees..

my mum,as expected,is freaking out at home..

the weird part is,she just doesn't wanna send her to the doc's..

today had 2 things worth mentioning..

first was the second my mum drop me off at the carpark..

*smiles...

tt's it..LOL

***

had a lil' unhappiness over the choosing of electives..

but since it's this way then so be it la..

at least MUCH better than the statistics/logistics rite?

tt one EVEN MORE fail sia..

so i guess lucky to get the leadership...

hmm...

***

had difficulty sleeping last night..

so i kinda mapped my future out..

with my brains,there is NO way to EVER EVER be a veterinarian as i have been dreaming to become since the age of 5..

SO...

i'll try and complete my diploma the best i can (ya rights!)

mabbe get 2 or 3 years of experience as a staff nurse..

and..*drumsroll* (dun laugh..Marie laughed her head off but i'm serious!)

i will go overseas and study and be qualified enough to work in a zoo..

not tt kinda s'pore,malaysia zoo..

but i'm aiming (just an aim) for San Diego Zoo..

California..here i come in 7 years time..

i'm not thinking of like being some analyst or zoologist..

coz i'll need a bachelor in BIOLOGY for tt..

i HATE bio..

LOL..

i can like be a..hmmm.......

cleaner? *LOL* animal feeder? animal bathe-er?

like a health care attendent to a hospital..

i'll be tt to the zoo!! WOOTS!

when i'm 25..tt's my aim...

i just hope i am able to stick to this and reach my goal for life..

***

once again,i swore silently to myself to listen during class..

-not working-

lecture was a passing blur..

lab was a TOTAL blur..

how am i to survive til year 3?

oh ya.. Wang Xin was...*speechless*

LOL!!!

school starts in 6 hours time..

could it be i'm still in my room blogging??

yes..

the elective thing was crap..

can't wait for skool yet i'm dreading it..

things are kinda cleared..at least from my side bout tt thingy..

*sigh.....

i've been at a lost for words since the library..
well..me and tang..
seriously..
we doubted it..coz well,there was just NO reason..
but the proof was just there..
we debated like hell on whether to tell..
how to tell..
but there was no way i could keep it from you..
just no way..
it's for you and her to solve..
i felt tt it's your right to at least know wat we know..
we hope it's some kinda computer mistake..
but then..
crap..
u shouldn't feel bad ok?!
like me,i kinda feel it's my fault it ended up liddat but the truth is..
it's neither mine nor your fault..
just clear EVERYTHING up and if it isn't her..
then it'll kinda be my fault..i guess
i just want u to see watever i saw and make ur own deduction..
if it's the same as mine then i can relax..
if it's me overlooking something..then OMG..i'm soo sorry..
i'm not angry or anything..just feeling weird to be in this intanglement..
sorry..
so do me a favour and double check the IPs in mine and urs and clear it up wid her..
*smile k??